Tag Archives: whole

My surgeon’s hands

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surgeon's hands

As I reflect on all I have to be grateful for, one of them is the excellent care that I received at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics during my diagnosis and treatment. I feel so fortunate to have a breast with which I am happy, a breast that feels natural, that gives me a sense of wholeness and femininity…a breast that I am not ashamed of or embarrassed by. I thank Dr. Sugg, my oncology surgeon, and Dr. Lawrence, my plastic surgeon, for their care and expertise. My friend – let’s call her AngelM – has the same surgeons as I did. I hope that she may trust them to help her find wholeness in her loss as well. (See previous post entitled Soul touching).

My Surgeon’s Hands
By Vicki L. Flaherty

Wise from experience
Certain in their task
Precise in their movements
Sure of their actions
They move with grace for me
My surgeon’s hands

I depend on them
I trust them
To remove the bad
To keep the good
To shape my body
My surgeon’s hands

Their work enables me
To let go of my fear
To feel whole
To be feminine
And alive
My surgeon’s hands

In search of wholeness

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root chakra I found myself thumbing through my Chakra book (The Sevenfold Journey: Reclaiming Mind, Body & Spirit Through The Chakras by Anodea Judith and Selene Vega) today during my early morning inspiration time. I started using the book in December 2007 when I  joined my Chakra Group (which includes 4 other beautiful and inspiring women that gather monthly). In our early days we explored the chakras between our meetings and shared our experiences when we came together (now we are not quite as formalized about it).

chakra def

In the book I found a poem I had written about the first – or root or Muladhara – Chakra. It captures my experience of being grounded – of what it’s like when energy is flowing freely through me. Here’s part of the poem:

Muladhara – 12/13, 20007

I am whole:
 bright and powerful as fire,
 flowing and graceful as water,
 light and open as air,
 energizing and inspiring as sound,
 clear and guiding as light,
 creative and wise as thought.

As I explored the Chakras with them, I found myself writing poetry. I see now how this beautiful group of women were a heart-opening pathway. I didn’t know it then, but back then I was tuning up for my heart singing out loud!

Dancing like the tide

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San Agustinillo, Oaxaca, Mexico

San Agustinillo, Oaxaca, Mexico

I wrote the piece below in my journal last spring. It seemed to resonate today. Something about a bright spring day filled with possibility that has me stretching toward the light. My heart keeps singing and I keep dancing. I feel stronger, fuller, more whole these days – well, most of the time. Small, vulnerable, empty, broken moments arise. I breathe into them, through them, and they pass. My emotions move like the tide. And as the waves rush to the shore and gravity pulls them back out again, I realize that I am not this OR that. I am both this and that.

Dancing (journal, spring 2012)

I am stading tall.
I reach for the sky.
My feet are solid on the ground.
My heart is open.
My body flows in movement.
I am grace.
Here I dance.
My very own dance.
To my very own music.
I sway.
I stand still.
I am small.
I am big.
I am vulnerable.
I am strong.
I am nothing.
I am everything.
I am empty.
I am full.
I am broken.
I am whole.

© Vicki Flaherty, 2013

Running into strength

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I remember how grateful I was to be back to running after my surgery last fall. Days like yesterday have an amazing power to lure me outside for a run. I posted a blog on This Abundantly Delicious Life about Running, which includes a poem with that name that appears in my book Mostly My Heart Sings. After my surgeries, finding my way back to a daily fitness routine gave me focus and called on my strength. I know I danced on the line between pushing too hard and doing what I needed to do to feel normal and whole. My parents encouraged me to pace myself, and my husband supported me in stretching into my challenges. In the end, I found a wonderful balance.

© copyright Vicki L. Flaherty, Mostly My Heart Sings, 2013