I blogged today at This Abundantly Delicious Life about writing and how it can take me to a place of heart. I vividly remember during my recovery from the mastectomy sitting at our dining room table with my journal and some inspirational books. I started writing and all of a sudden I realized that a poem was flowing from my hand onto the page. I started from a place of darkness, consumed by the change and uncertainty, thinking about ‘what will be’ and gradually, gracefully through my cathartic writing, moved to the present moment, where I found a deep sense of peace. As I re-read the poem now I can clearly see the shift from head to heart, a movement that happens like liquid flowing.
The Me I’ve Always Been
By Vicki L. Flaherty
I stand before the mirror.
Naked and vulnerable.
I see my body changed forever.
Scars reminders of the cancer —
so ominous and threatening.
I stare and ask: how can this be?
I breathe, deeply.
I try to open my heart.
I tell myself that with time my body will heal.
And this will be integrated into my life.
Over and over again, day aft er day,
I stand, and I look, seeking meaning and wholeness.
With time, I begin to see around what’s changed.
I know I am good, just as I am,
yet I don’t quite believe, ever-questioning.
More and more as I look beyond the physical image,
I feel the darkness gradually lifting.
I identify with the light, and I see it dancing in me.
I see that I am complete.
I see the me that I have always been.
© copyright Vicki L. Flaherty, Mostly My Heart Sings, 2013