Seek to understand

Mazunte Mexico - a place where I can truly BE and move toward understanding

Mazunte Mexico – a place where I can truly BE and move toward understanding

At my Saturday morning yoga class, my lovely instructor suggested “Seek to understand, not perfect, yourself”. I really liked that. I see how this journey is about a deeper understanding of myself, putting on different lenses to see myself and my world, opening to new possibilities, for a full rich life. I am clearer it’s through my writing that I become free and in deeper contact with my authentic self and that my writing comes from a place of BEing.  The poems I wrote during my diagnosis and treatment (and that I continue to write as I continue to grow from my cancer experience) were a form of yoga – mental rather than physical movement embracing with spiritual connection.  As I reflect on “In the Darkness” I see a graceful dance from ego driven concerns to understanding and to acceptance.

In the Darkness
By Vicki L. Flaherty

In the darkness of night I allow myself to be afraid.
I awake from a sleep like there is work to do.
My mind wanders to begin, and then gets going with a fervor
racing through so many questions:

What if there is hidden cancer in my lymph nodes?
How long will I have to deal with the drains aft er surgery?
What if I develop lymphedema?
What if I get an infection?
What if the pain is bad?
What will it be like to have no breast?
How ugly will the scars be?
What if I don’t like what I see?
How will I feel? How will I cope?
What will change? How will my life be different?

Exhausted by the questioning,
I become aware of what’s happening.
Oh, I’m scared!
This is FEAR.
I was wondering where it was, that fear.
By day, in the light, it’s hard to see.
It hides behind my hope
and is veiled by positive intentions.
Now I know, it’s there.
It’s okay.

© copyright Vicki L. Flaherty, Mostly My Heart Sings, 2013


About Vicki L Flaherty

I am most alive when I am creating, whether through my writing, gardening, photography, or my work. Running and yoga enrich my being. I am happiest when I’m with my husband Jim. Travel opens me to new possibilities and greater awareness. I find a special joy in helping people succeed. I’ve done something valuable when I’ve helped a colleague or friend see their brilliance and express their full potential. I have awesome opportunities to do this as an industrial/organizational psychologist through leadership, mentoring, coaching, career and other talent programs. As I've focused on living more mindfully, I've found special joy in expressing myself through poetry and photography, and in truly being in relationship with those I meet along my journey.

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